Battling lonliness & frustration...

I need to vent and what better place than my blog right? : ) We are still on the same work schedule where Matt works Sat Sun & Mon from 3:30 AM - 5:00 or later PM... I then in turn work during the week, leaving us not much time together for us and family time. It's been 3 years!!!!! I feel so alone. Matt is my best friend and my rock, but for (almost) 3 years we have been apart. We do have a few hours in the evenings during the week, but what can you do together in 2-3 hrs when during that time you have to make dinner, eat dinner, clean up dinner, play some w/Eli, bath time, bed time, then we crash!!! I feel like I have no friends to go to. My weekends are spent trying to fill the time w/making memories w/Eli... But what fun are memories w/just one parent?
Then there's church... I have been going to FBCO for 13 years & I do like it there, I love our music & feel blessed by our pastor... But lately there are so many things going on there that make it really hard for me to even go. Now I know part of that is the fact that I am there alone - from the time I walk up to the front doors I feel more alone there than anywhere else! When I was on my treatment, I really couldn't get up & get me plus Eli ready to go, so for those 8 months, we didn't hardly go. It is not right to not go I know this. I just hate going and sitting alone, no one to praise God with, discuss the sermon with, ask questions, church is a place where you are w/your spouse & I am not cut out for single parenting... Please know I don't feel I go to church for 'others' I go because I love my Lord and want to worship Him, praise Him, & learn from Him. If it wasn't for our Lord my life would be nothing. It is just so hard to do this alone. No one can understand where I am coming from unless you have dealt with this same situation. I just ask that if you are reading this you pray for my family. We need a new schedule, one that offers normalcy back to our life. Matt & I have always been that couple who did everything together... EVERYTHING, and we miss each other. I know God will provide in His perfect timing. I trust Him to do that. He has never failed us. He never will.
I know this is a depressing post and for that I am sorry. I just needed to 'talk' and obviously there's no one to talk to!! (hahaha)